Paddington Green

Humanity thrives upon communities coming together and co-operating in order to ensure society has some sort of common objective to work towards that will preserve our sometimes feckless ways. And this is why we've managed to upgrade our lives from crouching in dank, dark caves into a society where, at least for the majority of us, we can now stretch out in the comfort of centrally heated and fully lit homes.

Man's advancement is a compelling one, but due to the vast amount of time involved in this evolution, the narrative has generally concentrated on society as a whole rather than individuals. Come the late 1990s, though, we began to wonder about the stories behind the people scurrying around in these bustling societies and, thus, docusoaps were born.

They were a fantastic exercise in voyeurism and allowed us to peer into the lives of "people just like us" and see how they dealt with the rigours of life. Perhaps we should have been investigating our own lives and trying to better ourselves, but the stars of docusoaps were cast and edited to ensure that their lives were much more exciting. And it was perhaps never done better than in Paddington Green.

Genre: Docusoap
Channel: BBC1
Transmission: 28/12/1998 - 24/07/2001

Paddington Green is a curious little corner of West London which, when first recorded in 1549, consisted of little more than wastelands and a medieval church. Hardly a startling backdrop for people's lives to play out against, but by 1617 there was a fishpond there, so heady times indeed. I'm on a bit of a schedule, though, so can't fanny about and discuss the introduction of the first bird table in Paddington Green. Instead, I'll nip forward about 380 years and take a look at what was going on in Paddington Green in the late 1990s.

Perhaps the most notable event was that the BBC were sticking their cameras and boom mics into the lives of those living in Paddington Green. And it wasn't just a random selection of people they'd met down at the pub, no, in fact, it was a highly varied cross section of the bubbling community of Paddington Green.


The most famous face followed around the Green was Jackie McAuliffe who was a highly complex soul. Jackie, of course, started off as humble Jason McAuliffe, but by the mid 1990s underwent gender reassignment surgery and the chirpy Jackie was born. And how did Jackie earn her crust? That's right! She was a prostitute down at Sussex Gardens. I told you she was complex.

Whilst Jackie was coming to terms with her new life, there was plenty of people finding themselves locked out of their houses or even needing ancient safes unlocking. Enter Jason Osborne, a 24 hour locksmith who laughed in the face of 'uncrackable' safes and appeared to never sleep. Now, this hectic on-call lifestyle probably pays well in the cash stakes, but in terms of love, it was putting a huge strain on his relationship with his beloved Anna.

Harry Gilbert, though, seemed to have finally - at the age of 85 - snared himself a sweetheart in the form of dear old Joyce. However, even in his twilight years, he was being kept on his toes by more than his beau as old Mr Gilbert was still running his wig shop. And a 'hotel' above it. Then there was his revolutionary 'skin cream' he was formulating in his basement which looked like a health and safety officer's nightmare. Give him his dues, though, Harry didn't look too bad for 85, so maybe there was something in his dubious goo after all.

Those three were perhaps the most famous and most featured, but plenty of other memorable characters popped up throughout the series' run.

There was the wonderfully curvy and beautiful Claudia who relentlessly fought with her Dad to revolutionise their scooter shop and bring it up to date. Testing his business partner's mental health on a daily basis was Dave, a good old fashioned wheeler dealer in the mould of Del Boy who could sniff a 'bargain' at 50 yards. And who can forget the good time, laid back bus conductor Danny?

Oh and we also got to follow the early tentative steps of Kelly in the world of modelling, but she's now best known as Kelly Harrison who's barely kept off our screens since.

The Docusoap Boom

Big Brother was still a couple years away, so the British public hadn't been exposed to the full insanity of reality TV and were being kept busy with a sudden interest in docusoaps - kickstarted in no small part by some crazy Welsh learner drive by the name of Maureen Rees in Driving School. And what better place to set the latest docusoap than London? It's a thriving old place, so just perfect for plucking out a few stories to titillate the viewers.

Paddington Green was created by Lion Television and filming began in the summer of 1998 with the first series airing just after Christmas 1998. A total of six series aired between 1998 and 2001 with Ross Kemp narrating the first three series before handing over the torch to his Eastenders co-star Todd Carty for the final three. Paddington Green did not receive any terrestrial repeats, but some episodes were re-aired on BBC Choice in 1999 and episodes also received screen time in 2006 on UKTV People. The first two series are currently up on YouTube, but nothing else is available from the later series!

The jazzy score to Paddington Green was cooked up by the amazing composer Guy Dagul, so we asked him for a quick recap of his involvement with the show:

I followed the producers Bridget Sneyd and Ludo Graham straight from scoring the complete DK Eyewitness Films for them at BBC Worldwide. The brief was simple…raw, urban and sexy.
Thus using "Take Five" (Brubeck) as my template, I let rip! I knew Phil Todd (sax) from my days working on films such as Angel Heart, Mississippi Burning and Arachnophobia. The theme tune was weaved in and out, as variations, throughout as the underscore.

Taking a Trip To Paddington Green

Blimey, Paddington Green! It only seems like yesterday that we werr glued to our screens watching the residents' intriguing lives unfold, but, oh Christ, it was actually 17 years ago which reminds us we're not getting anything but a little further over the hill with each passing day.

Anyway, we bloody loved Paddington Green!

You see, as a 16 year old squirt, these tales of suburban life in the big smog filled monster of London seemed like amazing little glimpses into this exciting adult world we were clamouring to be part of. "Oh please let us into the party and let us dance with Jason at the Notting Hill Carnival and then go pick a few locks! PLEASE!" our teenage self would scream.

In fact, we did, at some point, plan some type of pilgrimage to Paddington Green to visit all the landmarks, but, as with most teenage follies, it didn't happen and we just sat at home reading the NME, dreaming about girls who were well out of our league and wallowing in the sickening reality that we weren't a rock star.

Fast forward nearly 20 years, though, and we were over all that teenage angst nonsense (yeah right!) and decided it was high time we rewatched Paddington Green. Luckily, the first two series went up on YouTube earlier this year, so we could finally reconnect with it.

The first aspect of the show that got the old nostalgia juices flowing was Guy Dagul's jazzy theme. Again, to a 16 year old Britpop fan, the world of jazz was a mysterious world which tempted us in to a new world of time signatures and complex sax arpeggios. And it still stands up. It's bright, it's cool and it sums up a late night stroll through London's beguiling streets.

Oh and the characters! They made such an indelible impression on us at the time, so we were quite literally hysterical with excitement over the prospect of revisiting this old bunch of charmers. And, you know what? They've still bloody got it! Well, some of them...

Because, you know, with such a diverse cast it's obvious that some are going to be that little bit more sparkling than others.

Jason the locksmith was always our favourite due to him being bestowed with an almost shamanistic ability to magically open locks with just a few furtive twists of his wrist. It created a sense of amazement, plus he seemed to get paid big wodges of cash for about 5 minutes work - nice work if you can get it. Jason, though, wasn't purely a one dimensional workaholic. He also had a couple of fractious relationships on his plate with his mother and his girlfriend. And God knows we've all been there - gender specific of course.

Mr Gilbert, too, was a charming old stunner of a gent. Completely rude to his customers, but this he promised was simply down to his no-nonsense dispensing of the truth and, come on, all he wanted to do was make them ladies look their prettiest. The wig shop side of things was rather sedate though due to a lack of trade, but his skin rejuvenating cream was a marked piece of genius. God knows what went in it, but again it was an intriguing angle to his character and highlighted his sense of enterprise even in his twilight years.

Jackie, of course, brought a huge helping of poignancy to Paddington Green and was a real case study in the trials and tribulations of humanity. Despite numerous setbacks throughout life such as being fostered as a child, gender identity crises and having to work the seedy streets of west London as a prostitute, she generally remained resolutely upbeat. A world away from the rest of the cast, Jackie helped bring a unique story to the show to stop the series being mired in the mundanity of life.

And, yeah, some of the characters were a little mundane and failed to inspire that devotion to giving two hoots about their unstimulating lives. Thankfully, the editors of Paddington Green soon seemed to cotton on to who the more curious characters were and either consigned the lesser characters to the dustbin or shunted them to the sidelines for nothing more than brief appearances.

That's not to say the main characters didn't slip into mundanity at times. You see, life on this ever revolving, but never truly changing globe is, generally, one quotidian event after the other, so that's why we bear witness to such earth shattering events as Danny going overdrawn. Oh man, he's overdrawn! Jesus! Whatever next? He's lost his favourite scarf?!

But, you know what? By this point we've invested a substantial amount of interest and empathy in Danny's cheery way of life. Seeing his freewheeling ways come off the rails and not being able to afford a night down the pub cuts deep. It's not like Hitler's gone and got himself overdrawn buying one too many lederhosen for his upcoming rally, is it? So, remember: Danny - YES! Hitler - NO!

The original characters, however, slowly started to leave Paddington Green after the first couple of series and, as so often happens, the replacements were unable to imbue that initial connection now that our sensory receptors had been filled by their predecessors. That's not to say the later series weren't full of insightful social intrigue, just take the story of Gary, a survivor of the 1999 Soho pub bombings trying put life in perspective after such a harrowing ordeal.
But the horse had bolted and our attention waned. Although, to be fair, this was also partly down to us finally getting the keys to the adult world and wanting to make our own mark on the world i.e. get drunk and act stupid.

Final Thoughts

Paddington Green was a great piece of late 90s television. Sure, it didn't always reflect the true horrors of urban life, so, in some ways, is very misleading in it's representation of society, but it was able to deliver a fantastic examination of the humdrum life of a living, breathing human chasing those highs and hot tailing it away from the dreaded lows which so often define our character.

One aspect of the show which really stood out was the real sense of enterprise on show by the characters which sums up the power of money in the modern society. Jason relentlessly chases another job sometimes at the expense of his relationships, Dave is constantly searching for that next big deal and Jackie seizes back the power from her schoolhood bullies by exploiting their leering lusts financially.

It's this aspect which gives the show an aspirational feel, but at the same time underlines how us humans can be a magnanimous, but foolhardy bunch. So, we're a bunch of twits, but we don't half love having a fiver in our back pocket at the end of all our endeavours and to hell with the mental ramifications!

What followed in Paddington Green's wake has perhaps tarnished it slightly in the annals of TV history, but come on, it's not like any of the Paddington Green characters were directly responsible for the ignominy of Kinga and that wine bottle in Big Brother was it?! Regardless, it's not actually as well remembered as it perhaps deserves to be. Despite being a popular show to discuss at the time it seems to have faded from many people's memories, so perhaps it's time to start working on that 20th anniversary reunion special.

In the meantime, head over to YouTube and reacquaint yourself with the genteel charms of Paddington Green and let us know who your favourite characters were and why!

5 of the Best British Comedy Sketches You Don’t Remember

When we're not drowning our sorrows over "what we coulda been, man!" in the deepest depths of gin hell, we're more than likely to be found lamenting the death of the great British sketch show.

Yeah, we used to love them crazy little sketch guys with their bite sized three act narratives designed to give us quick comedic bursts one after the other before our attention buggered off elsewhere.

But, despite the mid 00s success of The Catherine Tate Show and Little Britain, the whole genre seems to have disappeared quicker than our dignity on a Friday night. Sure, Cardinal Burns is pretty damn hilarious and if we had our way WitTank would have their own TV show and tie in annual, but they're in a moribund minority.

When the future's bleak, though, we here at Curious British Telly retreat backwards ever more into the rich recesses of British TVs past for a little bit of cultural salvation. And, blimey, ain't there just a bucket load of comedy sketches lurking there which are bloody amazing!

Problem is that, despite what them 'comedy gurus' say, there is actually a limit to the amount of times you can watch the 'Four Candles' sketch (does anyone even know how that ends?), so we're going to take you through 5 of the hidden gems of British sketch comedy you don't hear enough about. But bloody well should.

Dark Season

Children certainly encumber adults what with their precarious antics and devil may care attitudes, but you know what? Sometimes, it's these juvenile traits which allow children to see and tackle the world in ways that adults can't even comprehend. You see, adults are too predisposed to sense and logic, so they flounder in the face of concepts they can't rationalise.

And that's why, when it comes to tackling psychopathic megalomaniacs, children have a slight edge. Now, I'm not suggesting that we send children into war zones, but when it comes to standing toe to toe in teatime TV dramas there's nothing better to have on your side than a precocious teenager who still doesn't quite understand risk.

If you want some definitive proof of this fact then just tune into the sensational tellywaves known as Dark Season.

Rockliffe’s Folly

Genre: Drama
Channel: BBC1
Transmission: 02/11/1988 - 14/12/1988

If you've ever spent more than a millisecond living and working in an urban environment then we'd bet our bottom shilling that you ain't half fantasised about a more pastoral existence.

You see, the countryside - to us city folk - exudes nothing but a sense of serenity and low blood pressure. And no one wants to be having a heart attack surrounded by smog and ever spiralling crime statistics. Mind you, we ain't one to judge, so if that's your bag, more power to ya!

However, some people do end up thinking "Screw this city living for a game of soldiers!" before getting off their behinds and vamooshing straight to the rolling hills of the countrysideland.

And that's exactly what Detective Sergeant Rockliffe went and done in Rockliffe's Folly.

Beggar My Neighbour

Genre: Sitcom
Channel: BBC1
Transmission: 24/05/1966 - 26/03/1968

Reg Varney, now there was a salt of the earth fellow and perhaps best known for being the first ever human man person to use an ATM in the entire world. He also did some sitcom about buses as well. At least that's what we learned at school.

But, lo and behold, he only went and did a few more things with his spell on good old planet Earth! And one of them was a sitcom from them crazy old black and white days called Beggar My Neighbour.

Oooh! Black and white! You don't see much of that on Curious British Telly!

And that's why it's the perfect time to get all monochromatic-sixties-groovy-baby with Beggar My Neighbour.

Fairly Secret Army

Genre: Comedy
Channel: Channel 4
Transmission: 1984 - 1986

 
Sometimes secrets are necessary in order to protect the fragile feelings of some wretched soul who can't cope with the stresses of truth. And, frankly, yes, if you find out some god awful secret about us we'd rather you keep it under your hat or we'll tumble in to a lachrymose state pronto. Delicate flowers we are.

But sometimes, you know, secrets are there to act as a front for more Machiavellian pursuits such as overthrowing the namby pamby lefty framework of dear old Blighty, so keep schtum or the whole plan'll come tumbling down upon us.

And that's exactly what Harry Kitchener Wellington Truscott had planned in Fairly Secret Army.

How to Get Hold of Rare Retro TV Shows

The world's a beautiful old place, but it's missing something and that something is comprised of about a million and ten rare retro tv shows we wanna lay our peepers on.

You see, when we started this blog we spent most of our time trudging through the streets bemoaning the lack of availability of those rare old TV shows we craved so badly. Sure, we could head to YouTube to get a quick fix of retro TV shows, but what happened if YouTube provided no search results? Well, there are numerous ways to feed this passion of yours, so, being the charitable, generous organisation that we are, we're going to point you in even more directions for getting hold of those rare TV shows.

Dizzy Heights

Genre: Childrens
Channel: BBC1
Transmission: 15/02/1990 - 01/04/1993

One of the golden rules of the old comedy game is that YOU CAN'T DO A BLOODY COMEDY SET IN A HOTEL, ALRIGHT?!

And this, dear readers, is due to John Cleese going and breaking the mould with Fawlty Towers. And, yeah, when you take a ganders at Heartburn Hotel you could be mistaken for thing "Blimey! If John Sullivan can't make it work, what time of devilish magic is required?!".

But, you know what, John Cleese ain't exactly got the whole tourism sitcom genre sewn up as tightly as people reckon.

You see, a hilarious hotel comedy has, in fact, broached our telly waves. And no, it's not Hotel Babylon! It is, of course, the latex fuelled hijinks and shenanigans of Dizzy Heights!

Break in the Sun

Genre: Childrens
Channel: BBC1
Transmission: 11/02/1981 - 18/03/1981

Our teenage years can be a bit of a nightmare what with having to worry about acne, how cool our trainers are and, most importantly, the opposite sex. However, these are all rather superficial worries and, for some, the least of their teenage angst.

For some teenagers, the real life rigours of life can come a calling and completely deconstruct everything you've held dear and believed would be never ending. And when this type of upheaval comes to town what you need to do is take a Break in the Sun.
 
Getting Away From it All

Patsy Bligh is a girl at breaking point. If she sticks around in the abusive environment she's in then her spirit is going to snap. And it could cause irreparable damage.

Plucked from the security and warmth of her Margate home - where the grandmotherly Mrs Broadley (Kathleen Heath) dotes upon her - she now finds herself trapped in Deptford thanks to her mother, Sylvia Green (Catherine Chase), getting married and having a baby with Eddie Green (Brian Hall).

Now, the main thrust of Patsy's woes and worries come directly from the embittered rage of Eddie who not only belittles her verbally, but also gets handy with his fists leaving her bruised and so full of anxiety that her nights have become a real horrorshow of bedwetting. And this frustrates Eddie even more ergo a vicious cycle ensues.

Obviously, Patsy is rattled up by this and feels completely alienated from her household where her mother is far too busy with the new baby. Sure, Patsy's got her mate Kenny Granger (Kevin Taffurelli) - ginger, portly and prone to swimming a few lengths in the murky Thames - but there's only so much support his bespectacled form can offer.

Patsy's only escape from all this hideousness appears to be immersing herself in the world of drama. She's a bit of a starlet next to her monotone peers and, just maybe, this precocious talent is going to help her escape the doldrums of Deptford.

Now, what's gone and happened is that Patsy's spied a curious old boat down at the quay which houses an acting troupe who are travelling up and down the coast putting on a production of 'A Happy Release'. Oh and they're heading towards Margate where the comforting bosom of Mrs Broadley resides.

Patsy, of course, soon finds her eyes twinkling with visions of her treading the boards and finding refuge from the bothersome Eddie. And, by a stroke of luck, half term's coming up, so wouldn't it be just spiffing for her to join the production and sail all her worries away?

Not going to happen unfortunately as the actors aren't too keen on whisking her away from her parents into a world of seafaring performance. And rightly so, the conscientious old buggers.

However, Patsy's determined to get away from it all, so she tricks Eddie into writing some vague nonsense about allowing her to go on a school trip. The actors are overjoyed and soon head off onto the high seas for deepest Kent.

Patsy, of course, has already skipped school by this point, so a teacher heads round to see her parents and find out where the little tyke is. All hell breaks loose and Patsy's mother is distraught about the loss of her beloved daughter and finally starts laying down the law at Eddie's door.

Kenny, after being harassed by his saccharine, but well meaning mother, Mrs Granger (Patsy Rowlands), reveals that he saw Patsy getting on a boat. Eddie's bundled out of the house and told to find out where the hell she's got too and discovers that the boat's headed for Kent.

Teamed up with Kenny, Eddie is sent to chase the boat - there's no point getting the fuzz involved he reckons - and bring back little Patsy.

Producing the Drama

Break in the Sun was a novel by Bernard Ashley which had the adaptation treatment given to it by Alan England's capable and crafting hands. The 6 episode series aired on BBC1 in winter 1981 and had a repeat visit in spring 1982.

Getting himself comfy in the director's chair was Roger Singleton-Turner who would later go to direct proceedings in Grange Hill, Watt on Earth and The Demon Headmaster.

No commercial releases ever followed.

Oh What a Lovely Break!

We'd been waxing lyrical about old Bernard Ashley's writing talents on Twitter when one of our loyal and beautiful followers mentioned Break in the Sun.

So what we did was this: we jumped on our trusted information superhighwaynet and swung by YouTube to see it was available for our viewing pleasures, but it sadly yielded nothing. A gutting experience, but not one which dissuaded us from the chase.

We soon found someone selling DVD copies for a not completely unreasonable price. You've got to be careful of the rip off merchants littering the web, you see, as they want nothing more than to charge £40.00 for grainy old copies of David Jason in shows before he was the household name he became.

Yeah, so we got this DVD delivered and were gobsmacked to find it had come all the way from Georgia, USA. What on Earth is someone doing over 3,000 miles away tenderly burning copies of Break in the Sun? Shouldn't they be concentrating on rare copies of, uh, My Mother the Car, or something?

We're not going to argue, though, seeing as we're pleased as punch we've got a copy of the show, but it does raise some interesting questions about the machinations of the pirate DVD business in the 21st century. Questions that, you'll be glad to hear, we won't bore your lugholes with today. Or ever.

So, yeah, the actual show.

Although it's an adaptation, Alan England has delivered that trademark tone of Bernard Ashley's tales of teen alienation and the hardships that define those difficult years. And that recurring Ashley motif of running away is pumping strongly through the veins of Patsy.

Patsy's a curious little character and one who's well played by Nicola Cowper even if the role doesn't really call for too much in terms of mood. She's, not surprisingly, quite a maudlin little madam and most of her emotion is displayed by a morose look. We'd kinda like a little more depth to the main character because, as it is, all her hopes and fears seem glossed over.

However, believe it or not, the actual star, in our eyes, isn't actually Patsy. No, sir, it's Eddie aka Terry the chef from Fawlty Towers.

He's an amazingly crafted character with countless layers that we see gradually stripped away over the course of the series. He might start off as a boorish cockney thug, but when he gets teamed up with Kenny we gradually see a different side of him being revealed.

Now, Kenny and Eddie are like chalk and cheese, but it's this combination that begins to unlock the better side of Eddie's character. In between despairing about Kenny's obesity, he takes on a paternal role for the rotund redhead and begins to share insights into the rigours of growing up in his father's shadow.

And it's Kenny who finally opens Eddie's eyes to the quite gruesome truth that he's to blame for all of Patsy's shenanigans. It's a complex piece of drama to be aiming at the kids, but it's pulled off maturely and never sinks into the realms of soppy atonement - it's just your typical geezer with a few issues stored up in his noggin suddenly realising he's just a little bit of history repeating itself.

We were left tingling down our spine by Brian Hall's performance and it's a shame he perhaps isn't better known for more than his role in one of the best sitcoms ever. Mind you, it's not a bad show to be defined by, is it?

But how does the series pan out? Well, early on, we began to fear that Eddie and Kenny's pursuit - where they constantly seem to be one Kent town behind Patsy - would become tiresome, but as Eddie's whole id is slowly dissected and reassessed you can't help but be transfixed on the action.

And then there's the quite ghoulish nightmare sequence in episode 5 which feels like a bad batch of LSD which propels you into the final episode which conjures up bleak themes such as death, suicide and, finally, redemption. Hang on, is this a kids show or something by Mike Leigh?!

Special mention also has to go out to the opening theme which is like an offcut from The Who at their acoustic best.

One thing that seemed kinda disturbing to our 21st century eyes was the willingness with which Patsy clambers onto a boat full of strangers. However, you've gotta remember that this was 1981. And if you've ever read the Daily Mail you'll be well aware that paedophiles didn't exist before the dawn of the internet.

Probably the only flaw with the story is that, whilst Eddie has his road to Damascus moment, we didn't really feel that Patsy came out of the piece any wiser. Rather than realising that she can't just run away from her problems she ends the series heading towards Eddie with a tentative gait. So, yeah, it finishes with a slight whimper where it needed to deliver something a little more philosophical to the kids.

Final Thoughts

We can't fault Break in the Sun as it ticks pretty much every box on our comprehensive check list of what makes a classic bit of children's tv.

It's got that bleak edge cutting through it with an almost kitchen sink quality at its fingertips and the character of Eddie is so well realised that it's hard to believe you're watching children's tv.

And what kid can't engage with themes of alienation and just wanting to run away from all their troubles?

It's a shame that the only copy that seems to be floating about is quite low quality and we can only pray to the gods of retro TV that it gets a proper, cleaned up release one day.

***UPDATE - As of 30/10/2016, BBC Store are now selling Break in the Sun https://store.bbc.com/collections/classic-childrens-drama