Think Tank starts much like an early 80’s sci-fi show, with a backdrop of twinkling stars accompanied by a pulsating bassline as the Think Tank title spins through space and into view. These titles dissolve into the studio and, whilst Tony Wilson in a suit is far from sci-fi, the set is. With its uncomfortable looking furniture, made entirely out of right angles, and its minimalist colour scheme of silver and black, it could easily be a discarded set from Doctor Who or Blake’s 7.
Sadly, this is where the sci-fi atmosphere ends, although there is plenty of Viewdata to push the technological boundaries, but more about that later. So, Think Tank, what is it and how does it plan to entertain us? Well, it’s an ITV teatime quiz show featuring sixth formers competing to be crowned champions. But it’s not Blockbusters. In fact, it pre-dates the iconic Bob Holness programme by a cool two years. Think Tank, which aired only in the Granada region, is much, much, MUCH obscurer. So, without further ado, let’s dive into Think Tank.
Tony Wilson informs us that “This is a quiz show for fast brains and fast fingers” and he ain’t half wrong. Think Tank is fast paced, with not a single question being allowed to hang in the air for more than a few milliseconds without being answered. Tackling the intense wham-bam-pow approach to the questions in each episode are three teams from schools/colleges based in the North West such as Yale College in Wrexham, St Hilda’s from Liverpool and Queens Park in Chester.
As you can imagine, the fashions offered up by sixth formers in the early 1980s are off-the-scale early 1980s, all browns, yellows, beiges, ties and, yes, dungarees. But enough of my cheap shots. What is Think Tank? Hmmm, well, it’s a bit of everything but primarily a quiz show with plenty of “fastest finger” questions.
Where it really differentiates itself, however, is with the Viewdata rounds. Here, the teams have to navigate their way through the 200,000 Teletext-alike pages to find the answers to questions such as “What was the number of sows available for breeding in 1980?” - incidentally, as the teams discover after visiting the Viewdata farming pages, it was 722.
Aside from using Viewdata, the teams are also supplied with a number of reference books, with which they can flick through to find answers. For example, in one of the video rounds, the contestants are shown a video clip of Bob Shankly discussing his retirement from being manager of Liverpool FC. The teams are then asked to use their reference books to find out how many times Shankly won the First Division with Liverpool.
One of the more curious rounds is the ‘name this tool’ round where Wilson holds up a tool such as a tube cutter or a set of corner clamps and the teams have to correctly name them. Naturally, the youthful contestants struggle here, and, in one episode, Wilson gives a mild jab when the teams fail to identify the corner clamps by mocking them for never having worked with their hands. He also, in another episode, thanks George the plumber for sorting out his plumbing with a tube cutter.
Talking of hands, one of the other curveball rounds is the challenge section where dexterity and creativity are called to the table. This could involve the teams being presented with a stylophone and being asked to hammer out a recognisable tune or handed a handkerchief, some string and a cotton reel before being challenged to make a working parachute. As you can see, Think Tank consists of a ragtag bunch of rounds, but they’re so quick there’s little time for your attention to flag.
Most notable is the MEGAQUESTION which runs through the entirety of the show or, at least, until it’s solved. This megaquestion, apologies for shouting it just now, consists of five questions - which include teasers such as "Latin name of Long Eared Jerboa” - that the teams have to use their Viewdata machines and reference books to solve. Once these are solved, they are posed a further cryptic question such as “How high are WHAT in WHICH?”
And, as things get more complex, the teams have to take the first letter of each answer and use it’s numerical value - e.g. E is 5 - to get a string of numbers which relates to a Viewdata page. On here, they should find the answer. So, for the “How high are WHAT in WHICH?” question, the teams would be sent to a Viewdata page on cricket which contains a nugget of trivia on how high the stumps should be. It sounds a convoluted affair here, and it is, but it unfolds slightly easier on the screen.
Points are the name of the game, of course, and the megaquestion is worth a cool 50 points. It doesn’t matter if the megaquestion goes unanswered, and it often does, as the winner of the game is simply the team with the most points at the end of the episode. Oh, and how could I forget, aside from the kudos of winning the series, there’s also £1,000 worth of school equipment up for grabs. Just what every schoolchild dreams of.
Think Tank is actually quite a fun programme. The questions are far from easy at times, with many of them stumping me - why, for example, would I know who wrote Iolanthe? And Tony Wilson is resolutely fiendish when it comes to overseeing the proceedings, giving the contestants zero leeway and dispensation. If an answer’s only 99.99999% right, he simply doesn’t want to know.
Some of the rounds, such as Guess the Tool seem - excuse the pun - bolted on but, at the very least, they bring some variety. And, with some tinkering, along with a more forward looking set design, there’s no reason that Think Tank couldn’t have had more than one series. A true regional oddity, then, and one which is worth a watch for the more curious connoisseurs of British television.
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